I remember a time when I craved him. When I couldn't wait to see his face and hear his voice. A time when I longed to be in his space and couldn't resist his touch. A time when his breath on my skin was like the night's air. When emotions were so intense, they could only be released by, biting his bottom lip and nibbling his ear. I remember a time when his words were my melodies and his eyes the gospel. When I made love to him to express what words couldn't. It's vague, but I remember. I remember when passion wasn't an afterthought.
I recently told some girlfriends I felt like I was devoid of emotions. But the more I thought about it, I began to realize that I'm not devoid of emotions. I just lack romantic passion. And I miss it. Over the past few years I have gotten pretty damn good at faking passion, in both relationships and lovemaking. Most times he (whoever the guy was at the time) didn't know the difference and to be honest, I think I tricked myself a couple of times too. But let me tell you the real thing with me is some truly intense shit that will leave us both dumbfounded and breathless. It is that serious. It was the type of passion that would often cause my ex to look at me (as if he just met me) and say, "You.Really.Do.Love.Me." And I miss it.
I recently told some girlfriends I felt like I was devoid of emotions. But the more I thought about it, I began to realize that I'm not devoid of emotions. I just lack romantic passion. And I miss it. Over the past few years I have gotten pretty damn good at faking passion, in both relationships and lovemaking. Most times he (whoever the guy was at the time) didn't know the difference and to be honest, I think I tricked myself a couple of times too. But let me tell you the real thing with me is some truly intense shit that will leave us both dumbfounded and breathless. It is that serious. It was the type of passion that would often cause my ex to look at me (as if he just met me) and say, "You.Really.Do.Love.Me." And I miss it.
I miss being open and free with my feelings. I miss screaming I love you and having it whispered back in my ear during sex. I miss what its like when sex is actually lovemaking. I just miss the passion.
