Thursday, May 01, 2008

It Aint Gonna Work

I may have to smack someone really, really soon.

If one more person tries to convince me it is ok to have a baby out of wedlock simply because I am 29 and unattached, I am going to reach out and touch their ass. Point Blank!

First of all, anyone who knows me knows I have never been the type of chick who had dreams of white picket fences and 2.5 children. Just wasn’t me. Heck to be honest, I am just now getting to the point where I am starting to think, ‘well ok maybe having some kids might not possibly be the absolute worse thing in the world.’ So you can pretty much bank on the fact that I am not in a mad dash to the alter or the delivery room. I do want those things. But I want them in the right time and place and not just because I am nearing someone else imaginary finish line.

For the last time:
I am not going to just find a dude with good genes.
I am not going to ‘just do it because you really don’t need a man for much. You make enough money’ (let me just say I think this is some of the most selfish bullshit I have ever heard and I don’t have any damn money!)
I am not going to stress myself out because I am getting old (Damn it I am 29! Not 42, leave me alone)
I am not going to be the cure for your baby fever.
You will be a grandparent one day. If you keep pushing me, that might not happen.
Just because I was raised by a single mother and managed to come out as fabulous as I am does not mean I want to be one.

I want a family unit. I will not compromise on this one. It is not up for debate. Do not attempt to talk me into a casually committing to parenthood. It will not work. If you attempt to force feed me any one of aforementioned bullshit theories, either one of two things will happen. 1. You will never again be included in a conversation about my future, or 2. I may inadvertently chop you in the throat.

You have been warned.