My purpose in creating this blog was to discipline myself with my writing. And as we can see, I am not doing a very spectacular job. Actually, I have to admit, I’m kind of ashamed of myself. It isn’t like I haven’t had things happen in my life worth writing about or that my head hasn’t been full of some of the most insane thoughts your imagine. I, honestly think I just got uncomfortable with the idea of sharing MY thoughts with others. Because technically they are the only things that are entirely, truly and undeniably all mine.
Anyway, when I got to thinking about this whole writing process it tripped me out cause for as long as I can remember words have captivated me. There has never been anyone or anything that has ever connected with me like words. They have been my one constant passion. Hell, to be honest I think the minute I began to have a slight grasp on them, a love affair begin. As a child I loved to read because the words created the most amazing mental images. And even now the power of words still keeps me in awe. See, in my eyes they are the single most powerful things on the face of the planet. Whether spoken, written or sung, they are the most basic and yet most complex way to convey human emotion and thought. Their ability to transform concepts, thoughts and realities simply by altering the way they are compiled sends my head spinning and my mind racing. Every time I see familiar words and they aligned differently, creating a new viewpoint, I just become more intrigued. Their possibilities are so infinite, that I can’t help but to grow in my desire to know more about them. When it comes to words, for me it really is love.
So now I am forced to ask myself- If words make you feel like this, why don’t you spend more time writing?
My response-Because words make me feel like this.
It is kind of like when a person knows that one particular man or woman is a perfect fit, but just won’t fall in line to make a relationship work. Either because it feels so good they are scared it can’t be real or it feels so good they are scared it must be real. The same train of thought can apply. That feeling is so intense it petrifies me. Sometimes I feel like putting my inner most out there will take away from its authenticity. Other times I know all it will do is force me to reread and ultimately, face my inner most. And on those occasions when I am forced to put it out there, for whatever reason-internal or external, I am very careful about the words I choose and the way I decided to compile them. And taking into consideration everything that has happened in my life in recent months I am taking extra special caution when it comes to choosing the proper words to convey my emotions (more accurately my thoughts).
So with all that said, (whose purpose I still haven’t yet figured out) I am going to attempt to make myself proud and do a better job at this. Because when I really think about it, I love these words a hell of a lot more than I fear them.
Thanks for bearing with me folks.
PS: Tune in tomorrow for my next post. Told yall I am trying
