Nowadays relationships seem so hard, romantic or platonic, so you can consider yourself really lucky in life if you manage to have one true friend. You know the type of person that from the moment you met them was your ace. The type of person for whom you’d kick a stranger’s ass and ask questions later. This is the person who when you tell them everything is fine, they respond with ok, but sit patiently and silently for you to tell them what is really going on, cause they know your spirit isn’t at ease. Basically the type of person who couldn’t be closer to you if ya’ll shared identical DNA. If you get one of these in life your lucky, should you mange to get two-consider yourself blessed. And guess what folks? I am blessed.
My premiere triangle of friendship felt complete for the first time in years this past weekend. Obviously, there are three of us: Kim, Meli and myself. Each of us is completely different from the other two and we are all differently incomplete without each other. Weird, but it works for us or at least it has for the past 18 years. Anyway, Meli, who still lives in Baltimore (and we are still trying to figure out why), made one of her bi-annual trips to Atlanta this past weekend. As excited as we all were before she got here, I think we were all a little anxious to see when the beef would start. Let me explain, despite the love and respect we hold for each other whenever the three of us get in the same space for extended periods of time, it can be dangerous, lethal and sometime volatile. At least two of us are bound to get into an argument, disagreement or (the usual) a shouting match.
The scenario would always go like this: chick # 1 gets offended by something chick # 2 says, chick # 2 responds with ‘why are you tripping, I didn’t mean it like that’, # 1 says ‘yeah whatever, ________(insert, Bitch, Yo or the actual name) you knew what you were saying’, chick # 3 rolls her eyes and says to herself ‘here we go with this shit again’. Meanwhile chicks # 1 & 2 are now in a full-fledged semi ghetto-girl shouting match, while any outsiders in the room are looking at chick # 3, who by now has picked up a drink, and asking her ‘are they for real?’ she typically responds with a shoulder shrug and ‘yeah man this always happens.’ As the argument continues and becomes more heated one the outsiders attempts to intervene, only to have all three woman turn to him/her and state ‘Yo, you don’t know what’s going on so just stay the fuck out of it’. By now the argument consists of mainly statements like, ‘whatever, I’m so tired of her shit’ or ‘man, it’s always the same bullshit with her.’ All of which is directed toward chick #3, who consistently responds to both parties with ‘Yeah, yo but you know that is how she is, so why you trippin?’ (now keep in mind the ‘shit’ and ‘bullshit’ being referred to has never actually been identified) After about 5-7 minutes of this, both parties go to separate areas and chick # 3 then equally divides the next ten minutes between the two talking some sense into each. She can usually do this by making one of two statements. The first being ‘Look, you know we don’t get a chance to get together that much. So let that shit go. Alright, so she pissed you off. Big Deal. You got that shit off your chest, right? So we good, lets go back and chill out.’ Or there is the ‘guilt trip statement’ which usually is a variation of, ‘Ya’ll get on my fucking nerves. Every time we get together we got to go through this shit. I’m fucking tired of this shit. We have been doing the same shit since we were kids and I am sick of this shit.’ Now this statement usually results in chicks # 1 or 2 apologizing to chick # 3, because surprisingly, we can’t stand to see each other upset. No matter which statement is used, ultimately we all end up in the same room again. Chicks # 1& 2 are sitting on opposite sides of the room shaking their heads, looking at each other, each making the statement, ‘Yo, you really get on my nerves’. This goes on until one of us asks the question ‘What were we beefing about?’ Nine times out of ten, no one can remember. So we end up laughing and saying, ‘Yo, we are really stupid.’ At this point one of outsiders looks at us like we are crazy and says, ‘Ya’ll really do go through this all the time, huh? We look at each other laugh and say, ‘Yeah, this is our norm.’ After that, everything falls right back into place.
For 18 years this scenario has been inevitable. That is until this past weekend. For the first time in forever, my triangle got together without any friction. And it was perfect. Financial problems didn’t matter. Men were an afterthought. Attitudes were non-existent. We were cohesive, functioning and pretty darn loving. If only I could find away to make it like that always, I’d be one happy black child.
Some people have that uncanny ability to piss you off, but in spite of how angry they may make you, nothing they do could ever offend you. Largely, because you know their soul and understand their words and actions don’t always reflect that soul. That is how my triangle makes it work. We know each other’s soul. To me, that is how you know the person is a true blessing.
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