There appears to be a common misconception about women that most men hold to be true. I’m not sure if it comes from past relationship experience, bad TV sitcoms or from occasionally ease dropping on one end of female phone conversations, but whatever the case it seems that most men believe whole heartily that we women share every detail of our romantic relationships with one another. Please let this post serve as a snopes-type verification that the tale of the Grown Ass Woman** who shares every aspect of her relationship with her girlfriends is FALSE. (**Grown Ass Woman: defined as a woman of legal drinking age who has independent thoughts, possess certain accomplishments and achievements that she can say are all hers, has a life and interests outside of her relationship with you, can stand on her own without covert attempts to undercut your manhood. Also has usually had at least one failed relationship in her adult life)
Ok I will be the first to admit that as women we tend to spend unfathomable amount of time on the phone with one another talking about shit. Most times we don’t talk about a fucking thing. Makes no sense, I know. But just equate it to the hours guys spend together playing Madden in silence or only speaking during the commercials of the football game. You all have your method, we have ours. Respect the difference.
I will also be the first to confess--yes we talk about your asses. We bitch about your failure to do the thing you have been saying you were going to do for the past 10 days. We vent about your forgetfulness. We discuss a new love making technique we tried earlier in the week. (This is simply a free exchange of thoughts & ideas) Hell, we may even discuss why you never put the damn toothpaste back in the right place.
So it stands to reason that when disagreements arise between you and your lady, it is likely that she talk to one of her girlfriends about it. She has to get that shit off of her chest somehow. But here is the kicker, you can rest assure that no matter how big or small the argument or disagreement happens to be, it can range from failure to put the clothes in the dryer to a random chick calling your phone at an odd ass time of night. Whatever the case may be, please know that we DO NOT tell our girls every little detail of our relationship trials with you. We may say something along the lines of ‘Girl, he just gets on my fucking nerves sometimes. He always____________’ But for a Grown Ass Woman, it usually stops somewhere around here.
This happens for two reasons, 1) before we called our girl we have already decided if the offense was worth us saying fuck it, throwing the deuces and sending your ass to the left. We are simply calling her to say the shit we know, if said to you, would take the whole damn issue to the next level. So we call her and get a few, “MmmHmm’s”, ‘Yeah, girl’s” an “I feel you” and maybe an ‘I know how you fell, trust me girl I know’ all followed by a quick, ‘Alright girl, you straight? Ok, cool. Let me call you back in a few.’ (This is our process. Respect the difference) Reason 2) we know our sister-friends. We know which ones are pro-friend and will call you a ‘no good, weak ass momma’s boy’ just because you pissed us off. And in her eyes any dude who upsets one of her friends should get an express pass to ‘Fuck ‘Em Girl Land—Where All Men Go To Die’. We also know which ones will check us on our bullshit, call us unstable and tell us when it is time to go into Ass Kissing Mode. (see: shutting the hell up and giving early morning/unsuspected oral sex) Continually bitching to either one of these girlfriends about your antics will lead them both to tell us to either leave you (which we have already decided we are not going to do) or shut the fuck up.
Because of these two reasons, you can rest assure if you are dating a Grown Ass Woman she is not telling her girls all your business. What happens in your house is staying in your house. Bottom line is we can talk shit about you but will be damned if we let another bitch judge you. It is our process. Respect the difference.
Ok I will be the first to admit that as women we tend to spend unfathomable amount of time on the phone with one another talking about shit. Most times we don’t talk about a fucking thing. Makes no sense, I know. But just equate it to the hours guys spend together playing Madden in silence or only speaking during the commercials of the football game. You all have your method, we have ours. Respect the difference.
I will also be the first to confess--yes we talk about your asses. We bitch about your failure to do the thing you have been saying you were going to do for the past 10 days. We vent about your forgetfulness. We discuss a new love making technique we tried earlier in the week. (This is simply a free exchange of thoughts & ideas) Hell, we may even discuss why you never put the damn toothpaste back in the right place.
So it stands to reason that when disagreements arise between you and your lady, it is likely that she talk to one of her girlfriends about it. She has to get that shit off of her chest somehow. But here is the kicker, you can rest assure that no matter how big or small the argument or disagreement happens to be, it can range from failure to put the clothes in the dryer to a random chick calling your phone at an odd ass time of night. Whatever the case may be, please know that we DO NOT tell our girls every little detail of our relationship trials with you. We may say something along the lines of ‘Girl, he just gets on my fucking nerves sometimes. He always____________’ But for a Grown Ass Woman, it usually stops somewhere around here.
This happens for two reasons, 1) before we called our girl we have already decided if the offense was worth us saying fuck it, throwing the deuces and sending your ass to the left. We are simply calling her to say the shit we know, if said to you, would take the whole damn issue to the next level. So we call her and get a few, “MmmHmm’s”, ‘Yeah, girl’s” an “I feel you” and maybe an ‘I know how you fell, trust me girl I know’ all followed by a quick, ‘Alright girl, you straight? Ok, cool. Let me call you back in a few.’ (This is our process. Respect the difference) Reason 2) we know our sister-friends. We know which ones are pro-friend and will call you a ‘no good, weak ass momma’s boy’ just because you pissed us off. And in her eyes any dude who upsets one of her friends should get an express pass to ‘Fuck ‘Em Girl Land—Where All Men Go To Die’. We also know which ones will check us on our bullshit, call us unstable and tell us when it is time to go into Ass Kissing Mode. (see: shutting the hell up and giving early morning/unsuspected oral sex) Continually bitching to either one of these girlfriends about your antics will lead them both to tell us to either leave you (which we have already decided we are not going to do) or shut the fuck up.
Because of these two reasons, you can rest assure if you are dating a Grown Ass Woman she is not telling her girls all your business. What happens in your house is staying in your house. Bottom line is we can talk shit about you but will be damned if we let another bitch judge you. It is our process. Respect the difference.
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