A little while back I wrote a post detailing my insane fear of commitment. If you missed that one you can check it out here. Yes, I suffered from commitment phobia so severely, that I often needed to be medicated. Although my choice of medication was usually Long Islands Iced Teas or Rum & Cokes, my phobia was still real. So real in fact that it didn’t just manifest itself in romantic relationships. I didn’t have credit cards because the thought of being bound to something made me nauseous. I waited until my old car was damn near held together with Trident and Elmer’s before I would even think about being forced into having an obligatory monthly car note.

So my phobia wasn’t so much about having my feelings hurt as it was about my ‘because I want to’ mentality. But when it did come to romantic relationships, my conviction to remain footloose and fancy free was probably the most evident. So much so that a few years ago whenever, I mentioned a potential love interest getting a little too familiar ATLBorn&Raised, AggWit and Teddy would have to tell me to “Put the Nikes Down.” Most times I didn’t listen and I am pretty positive I missed out on some great guys. But to be honest none of them ever really made me want to commit. There was no force driving me to commit.

And then I met a guy who just made that fear non-existent. I wish I could tell you guys what he did specifically but the truth is I can’t pin-point. I think it was his ability to make me feel like I was already flawless, while still quietly pushing me toward perfection. Or it could have been that we just connected at the right time and place. Who knows, but at any rate I just knew that this guy was the one with whom I needed to take a chance on a relationship. I felt like no matter the outcome, it would be worth the chance.

So how do we know when it is time to commit? Individually, when we take an honest look at ourselves and our situations with potential SOs what are the key factors that make us decide to focus on turning a few decent dates into a full blown, hand-holding, kissing in public, going to family functions together committed relationship? Do people even have these kinds of thoughts? Or are they most times simply moving into commitments based on convenience or even worse solely on emotions?